The things? I break them.

cyberthug13:

me: hey im feeling sick today i cant come to skool

school office: why

me: im coming down w/ the dunk fever 

school office: u are lying

me: image

school office: wow i am a bitch, take 3 weeks off

shitshilarious:

"whats for dinner mom?"
“A vase of spaghetti and milk in a floral glass”

shitshilarious:

"whats for dinner mom?"

A vase of spaghetti and milk in a floral glass

queensoucouyant:

piccolowasablackman:

I need to reblog this again because this cat’s face

you can see it counting down from ten in its head

ultrafacts:

(Link)
For more posts like this, follow Ultrafacts

ultrafacts:

(Link)

For more posts like this, follow Ultrafacts

makeyoufold:

moriar-t-e-a:

rachaelsrambles:

Guys, hey, guys. Do you remember that time that Coulson called Natasha and she ended up forming the Avengers?  Remember how she did that by digging up Bruce Banner and introducing Steve to him then was the voice of reason when Tony and Steve were bickering and then how she brought Clint back from being mind controlled so that they can be a team? Remember that? Remember how the Black Widow out smarted a god? Remember that time she kept her shit together when the Hulk attacked her, even though she was really scared? Remember when she knocked an alien off his flying scooter and figured out how to drive it despite it being extrateresstrial tech, then got her ass up to the top of Stark Tower, found Loki’s staff and saved the world from being invaded by turning off the machine?

Remember how she was the central character of the whole freaking movie?

Anyone else remember that? I sure do. 

#and remember how they didn’t sexualize her #remember how she was independent and didn’t need a male crutch #remember how when loki implied that she needed a man she completely tore him down #remember how natasha romanov doesn’t take shit from nobody #especially not a man

and yet all they asked scarlet was how difficult was it to get in her suit

tacoposey:

laurynsworld:

tacoposey:

on a scale of one to ten how ashamed do you think tumblr is to have the same logo font as toddlers and tiaras 

image

jesus christ

did u think i was lying

One time a lady tried to start a physical fight with me because I was knitting at a bar.
Dev (via gamzee-makara)

nickfuckface:

parents: “u should be more active”
me: image

theclocktowerguardian:

dorkmeetstumblr:

acanthachaos:

I find this so adorable :3💜

THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE. #thedream

For Amber


y’all fvcked with the wrong bitch

y’all fvcked with the wrong bitch

esm398:

jakebumlick:

pika-brew:

pika-brew:

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.

The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note
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and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

image

oMGGGG

image

pizza cares

Pizza understands

no:

EWWW I’M SO UPSET

tricksterity:

 

bless u spideybutt

robotlynx:

REMEMBER THE SPONGEBOB EPISODE IM

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